What have I learned in the last year? I CAN be in a successful relationship. That has been the biggest surprise. I was told when I was a kid that just some people are not capable of being in a relationship and I was just one of them.
Now I know I can do it.
I have learned I can be stubborn. I have always thought of myself as very easy-going, but being in love is like having your patience drawn to the last possible stretch that you didn’t even know you could tolerate. With most people if they annoy you, you move on and talk to someone else. Being in love…oh no you have to actually argue with them and figure out your differences! It’s much more work and I wasn’t expecting to have to work on patience.
I also learned that love is addictive and there is no depth to the maximum you can love someone. I thought at three weeks I could never love someone more than I loved him (first time being in love). I thought after three months I had reached my limit. At a year? I fall in love again with him everyday. Deeper, and sweeter. It’s the way he laughs, to the way waves his hands when talking, or even the way he winks randomly at me. These are all things only he can do in just the perfect way that I adore. So I love him even more for just being him.
I also learned that your subconscious is a valuable window to your heart and it speaks through the dreams you may not pay attention too. The first dream I had of him I was shocked to say the least. I never dreamed about a guy before. The second time was like ‘WOW AWESOME’. The first time I had dreamt about him every night that week…uhoh that’s serious. Now if I have a dream without him I wake up and freak out a bit like ‘what’s going on here…has the world ended or something???’. He doesnt always play an active part in my dreams, but other times my mind will literally morph him into different characters to suit the dreams changing needs because I couldn’t imagine a better playmate for the chaos of my weird dreams than him. I need a partner escaping a prison in my dream? It’s him. I now need a sales clerk at a gas station because In my dream the FBI cannot find me if I am in a store. It’s him. Now I need someone to be a bus driver on the bus leading me to my freedom from the prison….GUESS WHO. Yeap. It’s him.
I am shocked that despite our differences and often huge issues that have to be overcome that we are still together, but at the same time…I kind of knew it from the beginning. When you meet someone and it just feels so right that it seems like the Gods themselves gave their blessing (the light we were standing under went out just as our lips touched for the first time on the first date), you can’t really expect for anything but a match made in heaven. Literally.